
We’ve all heard the line: “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
But do we ever take the time to contemplate what that actually means? How this line of thinking can truly impact our lives?
Now more than ever, we live in a society that often encourages unhealthy work habits. We idolize the high achievers, those who have accomplished great things. We compare ourselves not only to our contemporaries, but also to those who have long passed, creating fairytales about who they are or were and what they’ve achieved.
I’ve been around this world for 38 years, and I’ve spent at least 20 of them trying to compete with others, working long hours, striving to become the best, and falling short of what I thought was my predetermined path. I pushed myself, often beyond what was healthy, in order to show myself and others that I had what it took, that I could defy the odds and overcome my own hardships. But eventually, it all came tumbling down, and I had to take a real hard look at myself and the life I had built. I had to strip away what I thought was the person I wanted to be and dug deep to find a more well-rounded human beneath the rubble.
My new life consists of being thankful for what I have. Finding joy in a simple walk, or a morning workout. Living fully with slow mornings and long evenings around the ones I love. To put it crudely, life isn’t a race, and we’re all going to die. While we should always try to be better than the human we were yesterday. Money, success, and fame aren’t going to take away the person you are. It’s not going to fix you and it won’t make anything better.
I gave up a long time ago trying to be the best, or striving for perfection. I stopped feeling bad because I hadn’t achieved as much as I would have liked. And I stopped comparing myself and my story to others. Occasionally, I’ll have a twinge of fire that creeps in, a little voice that whispers “look what they’ve achieved, you should be doing more.” But then I remind myself that I’m really damn happy living a life of contentment.
When I think about all of this, I’m reminded of a Zen saying:
“Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water; after enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.”
When you realize that life is yours to decide, yours to control daily, it can be freeing. But to live life completely, and wholeheartedly, you still have to come back to the basics of living life intentionally. For me, that’s reminding myself daily that I’m not a failure, I’m living life with intention, and I’m living it the way I want to. Don’t hold yourself to the standards of others. Don’t live a life that others want you to live. Your happiness and contentment are yours to define. .
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